On the basis of consultation with a close friend and my sister, both of whom have suffered what I am suffering, I have tentatively concluded that the excruciating pain I have been experiencing for two months and more is caused [in some sense of caused] by polymyalgia rheumatica [PMR]. If I do have PMR, it can be treated more or less miraculously with low doses of prednisone.
I have pulled off a major coup and landed an appointment with UNC's Rheumatology Clinic for next Friday rather than January 20th, 2016, their original scheduling. The Mayo Clinic website [a major resource for self-diagnosticians] mentions three blood tests that are markers for PMR. With some difficulty, I persuaded my primary care physician [whom I have now managed to replace] to order the blood tests. They did not show the markers. A major downer.
However, the specialist I shall be seeing next Friday tells me in a message that those blood tests are not "diagnostic" for PMR. What is "diagnostic" is successful treatment with prednisone.
In other words, if they give you prednisone and you feel better, they conclude decisively that you did indeed have what they gave you the prednisone for.
Unless I am mistaken, that is the reasoning that underlies the Hopi Rain Dance.
I am glad I have available to me the latest advances of modern medicine.
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Die Entwicklung der Menschheit
von Erich Kästner (yes, that one)
Einst haben die Kerls auf den Bäumen gehockt,
behaart und mit böser Visage.
Dann hat man sie aus dem Urwald gelockt
und die Welt asphaltiert und aufgestockt,
bis zur dreißigsten Etage.
Da saßen sie nun, den Flöhen entflohn,
in zentralgeheizten Räumen.
Da sitzen sie nun am Telefon.
Und es herrscht noch genau derselbe Ton
wie seinerzeit auf den Bäumen.
Sie hören weit. Sie sehen fern.
Sie sind mit dem Weltall in Fühlung.
Sie putzen die Zähne. Sie atmen modern.
Die Erde ist ein gebildeter Stern
mit sehr viel Wasserspülung.
Sie schießen die Briefschaften durch ein Rohr.
Sie jagen und züchten Mikroben.
Sie versehn die Natur mit allem Komfort.
Sie fliegen steil in den Himmel empor
und bleiben zwei Wochen oben.
Was ihre Verdauung übrigläßt,
das verarbeiten sie zu Watte.
Sie spalten Atome. Sie heilen Inzest.
Und sie stellen durch Stiluntersuchungen fest,
daß Cäsar Plattfüße hatte.
So haben sie mit dem Kopf und dem Mund
Den Fortschritt der Menschheit geschaffen.
Doch davon mal abgesehen und
bei Lichte betrachtet sind sie im Grund
noch immer die alten Affen.
* * *
The Development of Mankind
by Erich Kastner (yes, that one)
Once these guys perched in trees,
hairy and with evil faces.
Then they were lured out of the jungle
and the world was paved and built up,
to the thirtieth floor.
And there they sat, the fleas long fled,
in centrally heated rooms.
There they sit on the telephone.
And there is still exactly the same tone
as back then in the trees.
They hear wide. They see far.
They are in touch with the universe.
They brush their teeth. They breathe modern.
The Earth is an educated star
with a lot of plumbing.
They shoot their correspondence through a tube.
They hunt and breed microbes.
They eschew nature for all their comforts.
They fly steep into the heavens
and stay up there for two weeks.
What their digestion leaves behind,
they process into fabric.
They split atoms. They heal incest.
And they determine by methodical investigations,
that Caesar had flat feet.
Thus they have with their heads and their mouths
Created the progress of mankind.
Though aside from all this and
considered under lights they are basically
still the same old monkeys.
Prof. Wolff
I have the feeling the specialist's message could be translated like this: "Given that all the other things we've tried failed, maybe we should try this one, anyway. Just in case."
Ask him/her about contraindications.
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